Jazz
by AoifeRose
Summary: Starting out J & M - Jane is starting to realise that she thinks about Maura far more than she should! This is going to be a multi-chapter - first chapter is really PWP so I can work up to a story that'll involve Jane being her usual angry and then sorry and then softy self and Maura being her usual adorable self ;)
1. Chapter 1

**Frost is here because to be honest I don't know what Rizzoli and Isles is going to be like without him. I couldn't leave him out. My heart is broken for them all. RIP Lee. **

**This isn't set after any particular episode it's just one of my imaginings. **

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Soft jazz music played and a bottle of Stone Street Chardonnay sat half empty on the counter-top. Maura lay on the couch in royal blue silk pyjama shorts and a loose fitting white v-neck t-shirt falling off one shoulder.

Underwear had been discarded along with her burnt orange shirt and black pencil skirt the minute she got home and into the shower washing off a very long week. Double homicide which had turned out to be over a long running family feud about land got messy when the remaining family began to fight over the bodies and where they should be buried. Focusing on the dead was her job, but it was very hard to do with screaming relatives outside her morgue. Maura sighed as she towelled herself off and retrieved everything she needed for an evening in by herself.

Now her empty glass was sitting on the table. Maura was reclining on the sofa. Her hair was splayed out over a number of cushions she was resting her head on, the bobbin that had been taming it on the floor. One hand was resting on her left breast slowly teasing a nipple through her t-shirt the other was between her legs rubbing gently. She was wet and as she replayed the words in her head adding images as her fingers began to move in slow vertical movements up and down her folds. The book she had been reading lay on the table face down. The erotic tale of forbidden romance in the late 19th Century was the kind of book that was Maura's guilty pleasure. She kept a shelf of them at the back of her closet and read one when she was having a dry spell in terms of sex. Maura found porn a turn off, too loud and forced. She knew when someone was faking an orgasm and the women almost always were. Using her imagination to put images to the words in these books was far more pleasurable to her.

She moved her hand and cupped her breast from the front, palming her nipple, squeezing hard. She loved the feeling of her breasts being played with during sex but lovers never paid them much heed after an initial feel and a few questions about whether they were 'real'.

She let out a slight whimper as she slipped two fingers inside herself and began to slide in and out slowly. She wanted to draw this out having just read a particularly arousing part of the novel where the chambermaid Marianna and the Lord's daughter Violet had just begun a love affair unbeknownst to the other occupants of the house. As the two young women made love in a guest bedroom where they thought they were safe another servant came Lara upon them. She too had lusted after the Lord's daughter but was too shy to speak up. Now as she watched the two women having sex the scene before her entranced her. Her thoughts were interrupted when Violet spotted her in the door way and bolted upright in the bed exposing her naked top half to the younger woman.

That was where Maura had stopped reading. Moving her left hand into her hair to run her fingers through it and pushing her fingers on her right hand as far as she could into the wetness that was soaking her hand she bit her lip and tried to keep from screaming out as she felt herself getting close. Talking to herself all the time she never remembered what she had said afterwards but they were general words of encouragement and in some cases she fantasised she was a character in the book so the name of that character or the one she was fantasising about slipped from her lips. In this case she was the servant and she was watching Violet and Marianna. As she imagined what it would be like to be Lara getting into bed with two women and being taken by four hands – as Maura had written the next bit of the story in her head – she came hard screaming 'Violet' as she felt a gush of wetness on her fingers and palm. Her nails dug into her scalp and she pushed her head hard into the pillows enjoying every last minute of getting herself off. It was her guilty pleasure and once it stayed that way she didn't care. After all as she'd told many people before, masturbation is a wonderful stress reliever. The person she told it to most however never took any notice, except right at this moment in time. Jane stood inside the doorway of the back entrance to the house hidden in the shadows by the slightly open closet door where Maura had hung her coat on the way in. She had come in quietly as it was late and she was only borrowing a sieve for her Ma. She thought Maura would be in bed after the week they'd had. She knew she should leave. She knew it was wrong. But only two thoughts were at the forefront of her mind right now – How hot Maura looked as she came and who the hell was Violet?

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The drive back to her apartment seemed to take twice as long as it normally did and by the time Jane had sorted the mail walked Jo Friday and fridged the left overs her Ma insisted she bring home because she never ate properly according to Angela, she was ready for bed. But sleep eluded her as she lay there tossing and turning and thinking about what the evening had brought. Of course it was totally normal for Maura to pleasure herself, everyone did. She didn't expect to have to see it ever but that was just an unfortunate timing issue. So why had she stayed? Why when she heard that first moan had she not moved back towards the door and let herself out? Jane knew the answer she just didn't know how to make sense of it. She knew her body's physical response to it too. When she began to dress for bed she saw the wet stain on her underwear. The seam of her jeans had tortured her as she drove home, so much so that she had to throw sweats on to walk Jo. Now as she slipped her hand into her cotton pyjama shorts Jane could feel herself throbbing. It had been so long since she'd been so aroused that she'd almost forgotten what it felt like. As she closed her eyes and began to gently stroke herself images of Maura lying on the couch filled her head. Her best friend made the most wonderful sounds. As Jane thought of the expanse of pale skin on show between Maura's t-shirt and her shorts and on her shoulder Jane imagined what it would be like to kiss and lick that soft skin. Her motions quickened as she thought about the way Maura groaned as she palmed her breast. Jane imagined what it would be like to touch those breasts and suck on those pink nipples that stood out so prominently against the white t-shirt as she slipped two fingers into mounting heat and wetness. Arching her hips off the bed she pushed herself as far onto her fingers as she could imaging what it would be like to bury her fingers in Maura, to feel her? Would she be as wet as Jane was now? How would she like it? Fast and hard? Slow and soft? Would she want to be kissed as they made love? How would she look when she came – she hadn't been able to see her face properly at the house? As Jane imagined the many ways she could take Maura and what it would feel like she pushed her thumb down hard on her clit and with three firm strokes came hard letting out a small cry as release took over and she came in a gush of warm wetness on her hand. As her muscles relaxed and her hips returned to the bed she turned on her side to look into the darkness. A tear slipped down her cheek as she thought about what she'd just done. Maura was her best friend. She'd betrayed her. She'd betrayed her and then she'd fantasised about her as she got herself off. Jane was disgusted with herself until something dawned on her. This wasn't the first time Maura had entered her head during sex. Not masturbating but sometimes during sex with other people Jane had imagined it was Maura kissing her, Maura holding her, Maura touching her. It had never occurred to her until that moment that Maura filled far more of her waking thoughts than any best friend should.

"Shit" Jane muttered into the darkness. She heard Jo skitter across the floor and jump up onto the bed. As if almost sensing her owners needed company and comfort the little dog curled up at Jane's feet and rested her head on her foot.

Jane tried to sleep. She usually managed it after she'd had sex or satisfied the need herself. But she knew for a fact that this night wasn't going to bring any sleep. This night was going to bring a lot of questions and a lot of self-recrimination.

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**A/N So this was going to be a one-shot but I'm king of keen to see how jealous Jane gets before she cracks and tries to figure out who Violet is using those great detective skills of hers! I also might throw in a crime given the show itself is light on them at the moment ;) **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Again are you freaking kidding me? It's only been like two months!"

"It's been a year Jane"

"That is not helping Korsak"

"Jane if you want to keep your job this is a mandatory part of the new age BPD"

Korsak put the last three words in air quotes.

"Ugghh" Jane's usual response to news that aggravated her was elongated to make her point. She had started the day in a bad mood after the night before. She was sleep deprived she'd had three minutes to drink half a cup of coffee and now Korsak had reminded her of a mandatory 'Sensitivity Training' workshop that they had to complete that day.

"If I kill the instructor with the least amount of pain possible is that considered sensitive?"

Frost laughed behind the detectives as he followed them to the seminar room.

"We could check if Doctor Isles has some of that stuff she used to knock Cavanaugh out that night!"

Jane's face lit up at the idea, as Korsak said, "Don't encourage her Frost she might just do it!"

"This is why I didn't go to college – I wanted to work not spend my time sitting in lectures"

"Jane the quicker you quit complaining and get in there the quicker it's going to be over"

Jane groaned as she sat down on one of the chairs. She had neither a pen nor a notebook with her. But Jessica the instructor had done hundreds of these seminars and she knew how reluctant cops were to come in off the street and spend hours with her. She handed out worksheets and pencils and saw at least three of the group scowl at her. One was a particularly good-looking dark haired woman in an off the rack great suit and blue shirt. She smiled but it was lost on the tall olive skinned detective – she presumed she was a detective since she wasn't in uniform – because the woman was turning the worksheet over and back in her hand trying to be ahead of the game and fill it in so she didn't have to think the answers through as they worked. She knew it was going to be a long day but at least she'd have something pretty to look at, and a challenge too. She liked the challenging ones.

"Okay Ladies and Gentlemen. My name is Jessica Langston and I am a life coach and motivational speaker. I am also a trained mediator or in your language hostage negotiator" – this got a laugh – "and I also work with teams to promote harmony and accord in the workplace and no before anyone says it I am not a hippy"

Jane smiled. Jessica noticed. The thought occurred to them simultaneously that maybe it wasn't going to be such a bad day after all.

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At lunch in the café Maura joined the detectives for a break in their training.

"How is it going?" she enquired in a friendly upbeat tone.

Jane muttered something through a mouthful of sandwich about paint drying while becoming increasingly interested in a napkin on her plate. Korsak agreed with her but in slightly politer terms. Frost however seemed to be enjoying it.

"I've gotta say it's nice to see privileged rich kids taken down a notch or two over the way they act, especially the ones with connections in the job who thing promotions are just gona get handed to them on a plate"

Maura nodded ignoring the rich kid comment, as she knew Frost didn't mean it as an attack on her.

"It is interesting to see how when challenged a person must process a lot of natural assumptions they have made, possibly since birth or in-built in them by parents and other outside influences. There was a fascinating psychological study done once about parental influences on a child's behaviour in social situations".

"That was a wonderful study. However I would have to argue with some of the findings based on the socio-economic background of the cross-section the sample of participants was taken from" Jessica had overheard Maura and was looking for a place to sit. She excused herself for butting in on their conversation and pointed to an empty table. She was about to move when Maura insisted she join them.

She introduced herself to Maura and said hi to the Detectives.

As Frost, Maura and Jessica began to discuss the errors in the study Korsak got up to get fresh coffee for the table.

Jane was growing more uncomfortable the closer Maura moved to accommodate Jessica. Her heart rate was increasing and she was starting to feel slightly light headed. As Korsak came back with the coffee Jane excused herself and left her half eaten sandwich behind.

She made it to the bathroom, splashed some water on her face and was drying it off as the bathroom door opened. Maura was standing there with a concerned look on her face. Jane would never be able to fathom how the smaller woman did it. Just knew that there was something wrong without a word. Jane was scared of that more than ever right now as she thought Maura would be able to read every part of what happened the night before on her face. It scared her more than almost anything ever had apart maybe from Hoyt.

"Jane? What's wrong"  
"What? Nothing. I'm fine"

"No you're not" Maura took a step closer and Jane backed up. She stopped moving and kept her eyes fixed on her friends.

"Jane are you scared?"  
Jane shook her head

"Ill?"

Again she shook her head

"PMS?"  
"Seriously?"

"Well something has you in a very strange mood Detective. You barely spoke to me at lunch. Did we have a fight I don't know about? Some mild social cue that I missed out on that you're punishing me for"

Jane wanted to reassure her friend but no words were coming.

It took all her concentration to come up with:

"I'm fine Maur, honestly. I just didn't get enough sleep or coffee. And I've to spend all day taking notes when I'd much rather be working on the Davis case with you"

"The lab results won't be back until tomorrow morning on the body Jane. And since CSU are still processing the scene there really is nothing you can do"

Jane lowered her head and nodded.

"Yeah you're right. I better get back before Langston kicks my ass"

"I don't think she's an ass kicking type of girl Jane. We'll talk later?"

Jane thought of a million one excuses. Again no words came. "Yeah sure"

As Jane made her way back to the seminar room she prayed for a bolt of lightening or a plague of locust or something. Nothing was immediately evident. But she kept up the prayer for ten minutes before training resumed.

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"So to recap asking a mother about her childcare arrangement and assuming that the father is the other primary carer is a big no no why? Jessica asked.

"Cause she probably doesn't know who the Daddy is" Reilly answered from the back of the room.

"Brilliant" – she looked at his name tag "Reilly. Wonderful answer. You might want to have a talk with your colleagues in Special Victims about mother's who are victims of domestic violence who fear leaving her child alone with their father".

Reilly had the good sense to shut up and look ashamed. Having gotten some sensible answers from a few of the other workshop participants Jessica moved on to the next topic.

Taking a marker she wrote the acronym LGBTQIA underlying the Q and A and writing to the side x2 for the two underlined.

"Right can anyone tell me what these letters stand for?"  
Erica Rooney a detective in Vice answered. "I can give you the first four but I'm slightly lost after that"

"Well that's a good start Rooney – and can I just say thank you for your participation today you've been very helpful" Jessica shot a look to the back of the room telling them all they needed to know about how unhelpful they'd been.

"No problem" Erica blushed a little and Jane smiled. She knew Erica was gay, had known for a long time. They arrived in BPD the same time and although they didn't hang out regularly they met for a beer once in a while and saw each other at the Robber on occasion. Jane refocused as she heard Erica answer.

"Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender"  
"Great thank you Erica"

"Does anyone want to hazard a guess at the other three?"

Korsak cleared his throat. "This is a guess but I know in reclaiming the language a lot of minority groups have begun to take back words used to insult them by others. So is Q for Queer?"

"You're absolutely right on both counts Sargent"

There were a few sniggers scattered around the room but Jessica ignored them. She was used to it. The odd time it got to her. But it was usually only in the face of outright homophobia that she got really angry.

"Anyone else?"

Jane raised her hand just enough to be seen by Langston but not the rest of the room.

"Jane?"

"The other Q is questioning. The I is Intersex and the two A's are Allies and Asexual"

"Thank you detective"

"Wonder which one she is?" a not so quiet whisper came from two rows back. Carter was a well-known ass around the department. Total misogynist who didn't think women had a place in the force.

Korsak made to turn around but was stopped by Jane putting a hand on his arm and shaking her head. "Not worth it Vince" she whispered.

Jessica had heard it too but she saw the Detective mouth something to her colleague – she'd met him at lunch and was trying to remember his name – so she decided to let it be. But she was damned if she was letting Carter get away that easily.

"So Carter if you'd like to come up here to the front of the class I'm going to get you to act out a scene with me where you are responding to a call of an assault at a nightclub which is frequented by LGBTQIA patrons. I will give my prepared dialogue and you will give me the reactions that you would have in the situation". The homicide detectives smiled and other's laughed and mocked Carter. Words such as 'ass' and 'teacher's pet' were thrown at him as he walked to the front of the class.

When he got to the front Jessica reprimanded the others for their unnecessary mocking of their colleague but gave Jane a quick wink as she did so.

Jane smiled again and relaxed for the first time that day.

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As the seminar finished up the detectives stayed behind to chat amongst themselves, as it was rare the departments got to mix unless they were collaborating on a case.

Erica and Jane were sitting on two desks side-by-side chatting about the Red Sox form and how Erica's rescue dog Milo was adapting to his new home. And more importantly how her cat Max was taking to Milo – apparently they'd had some minor disagreements but were now on speaking terms. The two were laughing so much they didn't realise the room had almost emptied. Jessica had just finished packing the stand for her flip chart into a shoulder case when Erica asked if she'd care to join them for a drink in The Robber.

"Yeah sounds good. Thanks Rooney"

"Okay you're going to have to call me Erica"

"Can do" Jessica laughed.

Jane and Erica helped Jessica load up her car and they made their way to the bar. Jane felt odd not being with Maura but she didn't want to text her. She saw this as a valid excuse to skip out on their evening together too. She really didn't need the Spanish inquisition.

While Jessica and Erica looked for a booth Jane went to the bar. She placed her order and spotted a familiar figure sitting two chairs down. Dressed in jeans and a pale yellow pullover with her hair straightened and clipped up Jane did a double take to make sure it was Maura.

She saw the knowing smile on her friends face as she approached.

"I knew you'd skip out on me this evening using this place as an excuse. So I dressed down hoping that I'd blend in and you wouldn't notice me"

Jane was trying to formulate a thought – something to say to apologise but Maura continued to talk.

"I'm here because I'm worried Jane. I know what happens when you get like this. You get moody and unresponsive and you dwell on whatever it is for days or weeks in bad cases. You're unbearable to be around and biting the head off every living thing that dares breathe near you"

Jane glowered at her friend trying to formulate a response as her drinks order appeared beside her on the bar. Maura simply picked up the drinks and walked over to the two women Jane had walked in with greeting Jessica and Erica, whom she'd met once before, with a warm smile.

Jane stood at the bar willing that lightening bolt again. It never came.

Making her way to the booth she slid in beside Maura and braced herself for a much more torturous experience than the Spanish Inquisition.

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**A/N I'll try and get the next bit up as soon as I can. Have a rotten cold right now so drugged up to the eyeballs. So apologies for any delay and spelling mistakes but you can blame the drugs ;) **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Jane's mind began to wander somewhere between the first and second beer as the conversation moved from wine to psychological studies on the affects of full moons on those who lived closer to the equator back to the topic of that days training. She figured she better start paying attention unless she wanted to end up on the receiving end of another one of Maura's lectures about half listening to what was going on around her.

"Jane?"  
Dammit she kicked herself mentally – too late!

"Jane? What do you think?" Maura asked knowing full well Jane hadn't been paying attention.  
"I think the Catholic Church is indeed becoming more accessible to its followers with a new Pope in charge"

All three stared at her blankly. Even Jane herself hadn't a clue why she'd said what she'd just said. Thankfully Jessica dug her out of the hole she was flailing in.

"We were talking about discrimination in the workplace and how, in jobs like yours and Erica's, eighty percent of the detectives and sergeants in most divisions countrywide are men. Why do you think that is?"

"If I may use the Catholic Church again – old boys club, plain and simple" Jane said as if she'd almost resigned herself to the fact.  
"I agree" Erica said, smiling at Jane. "It's who you know not what you know or how good you are at your job. Men still get paid almost twice what women do in many developed countries, and let's not talk about the less developed countries". Maura and Jessica nodded and they all acknowledged that the reason this would never change is that men held all the positions of power – although of course Maura decided to throw in some examples of strong female leaders such as Margaret Thatcher and Angela Merkel. However once they agreed they were indeed powerful but depicted as man hating lonely bitchy women they decided it was time for more drinks.

Erica volunteered to help Jane at the bar as Jessica and Maura discussed collaborating on a piece for a journal article.

"You okay Rizzoli?" Erica nudged her as she placed another drinks order. "You seem kind of out of it".

Jane glanced over her shoulder at the table. "Yeah I'm good. It was just a really long day that if there was no case I could have used to do the paperwork piled high on my desk"

"Tell me about it. Hey, em…"

Jane turned to look at the blonde. She was blushing and Jane nudged her as she had done moments earlier.

"What's up little lady?" Jane often slagged Erica off about her height. She was only 5ft 4" but what she lacked in height she made up for in strength. She lifted weights regularly and was in great shape.

"I em… Jessica… iskindacutedontyathink?" – it came out in a very quick rush of words tumbling over each other.

Jane gave a small laugh as the blush deepened on Erica's cheeks.

"She's not my type Rooney but yeah she's cute" Jane gave her a wink – "you want some alone time?"

"Jesus no don't leave me alone with those two they'll eat me alive"

Jane laughed again "I was actually planning on taking Doctor Isles with me. She tends to get in the way of romantic evenings with all her Google mouthing"  
"Yeah but she's really hot when she does it"  
Jane shot Erica a look and in a slightly edgier tone than she meant enquired "Maura? Really, Maura?"

"Eh Rizzoli you have eyes right? Jessica is cute. But I thought you were in there with the Doc that's why I was looking my side of the table. If you're not I might just see what the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts is up to for the night?"

Jane threw an eye to the table to see Maura and Jessica still talking. That was good because there was going to be a slight delay with the drinks.

Jane looked at her friend and put the pitcher of beer back on the bar, leaving her hands on the shiny mahogany surface as she spoke. "Erica I'm not gay. I know we never discussed it but I'm not. The only reason I know you are is we ran into your ex that time and there was no other way to explain yourself out of the drink she threw on you. I've no problem with it, hell I was the only one who knew what the QIAA stood for today. But I'm not"

Erica put a hand on Jane's hand that rested on the bar. "It's okay Jane, I'm sorry I'm not going to step on your toes". Jane realised the hand Erica was covering was shaking.

"You're not stepping on anyone's f… on anyone's toes Rooney" Jane bit back the swear word that was about to escape.

"Jane I've seen you this angry twice. Once was when the power went out during a ball game here one night and the other was when you drank decaf one morning. You might not bat for my team Rizzoli but it takes something pretty impressive to get a reaction like that outta you. I know she's special to you. Just don't let anger and fear get in the way okay? It's not about being gay. It's about loving someone"

Jane was about to object again but she felt Erica give her hand a light squeeze and she just nodded her head.

Erica picked up the glasses for the beer and Maura's wine and Jane the pitcher of beer as they returned to the table.

"Were you picking the grapes yourself?" Maura inquired rather proud of her joke as the other two women laughed.

But there was no response from Jane. Maura was really getting worried about her friend. There were no smart answers; in fact there was no talking at all. Jane looked slightly lost when she returned from the bar.

She felt a hand on her wrist and she turned to look at Maura, seeing hazel eyes full of concern and worry.

She talked quietly so only Jane could hear, the other two women having already engaged in a conversation on what an ass Carter was.

"Jane, what's wrong?"  
"Nothing"

Jane felt two fingers slide to her pulse point. Jane your heart is racing. What is it?"  
Jane looked away from Maura hoping it would cause her heart rate to slow but the fingers that persisted on her wrist meant it wasn't possible.

She looked at Jessica and Erica – the blonde had finally decided to seize the moment and flirt. It seemed to be going well and Jane felt so envious of the two women. Envious and sad that she'd never get to do the same with Maura.

Without warning Jane was on her feet. She offered an apology to her companions that she had a headache and wasn't feeling well. She wished Jessica a safe trip home, told Erica she'd see her soon and then left. Maura was hurt when the detective didn't even say goodnight.

Erica glanced at the door, as it swung shut after Jane's hasty exit.

"Is she…?"

She didn't get a chance to finish before Maura was on her feet too. She'd taken a moment to consider staying. She was going to let Jane be a petulant child and sulk if there was something wrong. But something Jessica said when Jane and Erica were at the bar stuck with her.

She wished both women goodnight and assured Jessica she would ring her soon about the article. She was out the door twenty seconds after Jane.

Erica turned towards Jessica "Well looks like it's just the two of us"

Jessica smiled and leaned in close to whisper into the smaller woman's ear "Good I was hoping we'd get some alone time eventually"

She pulled back to smile at the younger woman.

When Maura got out onto the street she was just in time to see a yellow cab pull up to the car as Jane climbed in. She shouted her name but the Detective either didn't hear her or didn't want to hear her.

Maura hailed another cab and considered giving Jane's address but thought that in this mood Jane normally needed to be alone. She gave her own address and settled back for the short journey her mind wandering in a million different directions about what could possibly be wrong with her best friend.

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Jane was lying on her back on her staring at the ceiling Jo curled into her side. Tears were falling freely and Jo had already tried to comfort her twice by licking her face only to be lifted and moved back down the bed. She'd given up and figured her presence would have to be enough to be enough for her owner.

"Why Jo? I can't be with her. Why am I feeling like this?"

The little dogs head popped up at the sound of her name but rested back down on the comforter as Jane began to scratch behind her ears.

"At least she doesn't hate me… yet. She will if I tell her though"

Jo jumped up in fright as Jane's phone vibrated in her pocket. The detective unlocked the screen and opened the message:

_I don't know what's wrong. I don't know why you're upset with me. I know a great deal but not knowing this is hurting me Jane._

Jane rubbed at her eyes with her free hand drying the tears as she typed with the other:

_There's nothing wrong Maur. You didn't do anything. _

Maura sighed as she read the text. Turning to put her phone on the bedside table she sent one more text:

_I know that's a key difference between you and I Jane – you can lie and I can't. But you can't lie to me. I know you and I will find out what is wrong._

Jane threw her phone on the opposite side of the bed and groaned. She knew she wasn't going to sleep. So she decided to get up not sure where she was going or what she was going to do but sure it would be better than lying there and thinking about how much she was hurting Maura, how much she hated herself and how she could see the one stable relationship in her life going to hell.

She sat down on the sofa and stared at moonlight streaming in the window watching the shadows it cast all around the room.

Jane whispered quietly into the dark "She will find out. She will. And then I'll lose her forever"

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**A/N The last two chapters have gotten a little heavier than I intended them too but this is what the two of them were telling me. So I'm going to see what Maura manages to do to get the truth out of Jane in the next chapter and hope it's a bit more fun filled **** R&R if you've any good ideas that you think would work – other people's imaginations are often far more fun than mine ;) **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Most importantly for this chapter and because it isn't in the initial warning for the story there is mention of suicide and the trauma involved with it in this chapter so please don't read if it's something that affects you. **

**Thank you all for your feedback – you're all very sweet. Sorry I know the paragraphs are a nuisance. It's something to do with the Office package I use, it doesn't translate well into an online format. I'll try and sort it. I do sometimes think if Janet ever went there with Rizzles Jane would do a LOT of freaking out before she accepted that love was love regardless of gender. So that's kind of what's going on here… As always none of them are mine!**

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Bright sunlight was streaming in the windows and Jane felt like she was on fire as the heat penetrated her tank top and shorts. It was going to be a seriously warm day.

As she blinked the sleep out of her eyes Jane stood slowly arching her back to stretch the muscles that were sore from sleeping on the couch all night. All night constituted four hours sleep but it was the best Jane could do right now. She'd spent hours going over and over everything in her head. What Erica had said, what she was thinking, what she'd thought when she first met Maura properly – after the hooker incident. Did she fancy Maura? Was it more than fancying her?

Jane growled as she ran her fingers through her knotted curls. Jo was sitting by her water dish waiting obediently for someone to take notice of her. Jane bent down and petted the small dog picking her dish up to fill it and put it back down. The white ball of fur started lapping up the cool water as Jane headed for the shower. She wasn't paying attention to what she was doing so she almost scorched herself with the hot water first and then had to shampoo her hair twice as she couldn't remember if she'd done it the first time, so lost was she in her thoughts.

When she got to the bedroom she rifled through her wardrobe to find something that she wouldn't melt in for the day. The air conditioning in BPD had a habit of breaking down when it got warm and working perfectly when it was freezing cold.

She found a navy blue t-shirt and grey cotton trousers. It was loose and as comfortable as was possible while still being professional.

As she gathered all her stuff together she checked her phone. There was a text from Maura. It simply said:

_I will find out._

Jane groaned as she slipped the phone into her pocket. She contemplated calling in sick. But the paperwork and more importantly Maura would still be there tomorrow. So she took at deep breath and headed for the door. If she was lucky the paperwork would fall on her and bury her alive.

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When she got to the foyer she heard Korsak call her name. "Jane we just got a call. Apparent suicide but they uniforms on scene think there's more to it. Doctor Isles is on her way. Were you two not together this morning?"

"We don't spend every night together Korsak" Jane's voice was an octave above out and out hostile.

"Whoa sorry Jane. Frost is out front in the car. You want a ride?" Korsak walked past the taller detective not waiting for an answer and hoping she'd just follow. It was days like this he was glad he just lived with his pets. Women were too complicated.

Jane got into the sedan and muttered "Hello" to Frost when he greeted her enthusiastically. He glanced back at Korsak who just shook shrugged his shoulders with a "don't ask cause I don't know" look.

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Maura was leaning over the bed taking the bodies temperature as Jane approached. Her eyes travelled over Maura's body from behind. She was wearing a red dress, clinging to every curve in the right place and a black linen jacket with her hair looking as per usual as if she'd just walked out of a salon. How does she do it Jane thought to herself? She looked down at her outfit and caught sight of her reflection in the bedroom mirror, hair barely contained in a bobbin, curls everywhere. She let out a loud sigh and Maura turned to look up.

"Detective Rizzoli you sound depressed. Whatever is the matter?"

"Don't start Maura. It's too early in the morning and I haven't had any coffee"

Maura turned back to the body "Time of death is roughly six to eight hours ago. Bedroom window was open so given the heat it could have sped up decomp. She cuts on both wrists bled quite rapidly. But not to the extent that it should have killed her. They missed the main arteries and the cuts are running in the wrong direction.

"So?" Jane knew Maura wasn't going to guess but it was her standard response in these instances.

"So we'll get her back to the morgue and I'll do some tests and let you know my findings"

Jane gave Maura a death like stare but her features softened as they returned to the young girl lying on the bed. Her red hair was wavy and shiny. She was pale in death but Jane could tell she had been very beautiful in life. She saw a picture on her bedside table of the girl with what she presumed was her sister – same rusty coloured hair, same nose, and same eye colour. They were standing on the top of a summit of a mountain somewhere smiling for the camera.

Maura followed Jane's gaze to the photo.

"Her name was Sophie Jenkins. She was sixteen. The girl in the photo is her older sister Rosie. I met her downstairs on my way in".

"Huh?" Jane hadn't heard a word the M.E. had said. She was staring intently at the photo wondering what makes such a young apparently well cared for happy looking teenager take her own life?

Maura walked over to Jane's side and stood against her, one arm barely touching the Detectives. She had noticed that most of the colour had drained from her friend's cheeks and she was almost as pale as Sophie.

"Jane?"

Jane shook her head to clear the fog that had descended. Maura was too close for comfort. She moved towards the bed to get away.

"How long has she been dead?"  
"I've already told you that Jane"

"Sorry, uh, yeah. Six to eight hours. Right. Em anyone else in the house?"  
"Her sister Rosie. I told you this too Jane"

Jane ignored Maura as she walked towards the window to look out – at what she wasn't really sure.

"Jane what is wrong with you?"

Jane turned back to look at the M.E. standing in the doorway of the girls bedroom.

"Maur we're not doing this. Not today". She gestured towards the bed, "especially not with this going on"

"There will always be a something going on Detective. This is what we do for a living". Maura's voice held an edge but Jane just made for the door saying something about interviewing the sister.

Maura turned to pack up her scene bag; throwing everything in as opposed to the usual neat order she arranged things in. Getting to the bottom of the stairs she told Korsak she would send him an initial report later that day. She ignored Jane's stare which she felt burn into her back as she walked down the steps out of the house. Getting into her car she threw her bag on the passenger seat and growled in frustration as she laid out a plan for the rest of the day. Jane was not going to stay angry, or upset or forlorn or whatever the hell she was, not if Maura had anything to do with it.

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Sitting at her desk staring aimlessly into the distance Jane only came back to the present when she heard her name.

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli"

Jane groaned internally. "Ma. What's up?"

"What's up is Maura was just in the café having a coffee – without you may I add…"

Jane was about to admonish her mother the same way she had Korsak that morning for assuming her and Maura were joined at the hip. But her Ma kept talking even as she attempted to interrupt her.

"She was very upset Jane. I asked how you were and she said she didn't know. She said you wouldn't talk to her"

Jane looked down at her hands folded on her lap.

"Jane you don't have many friends. Maura is one of the very few who has stuck by you. Who puts up with you. Who understands you. Don't you dare push that girl away do you hear me?"

Angela left and walked by Korsak in the outer hallway. He had only overheard the last few words about pushing the girl away but Korsak hadn't been a detective as long as he had without learning a thing or two. He knew the detective and the doc were fighting because he saw the pleading look on Jane's face as Maura left with barely a word earlier. He just didn't know why they were fighting.

As he walked into the bullpen he saw Jane walk out the other day. Wherever she was going Korsak sincerely hoped it involved Maura. Otherwise he was going to have to put his sensitivity training to extreme use to save himself from strangling one or both of them.

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Jane had in fact texted Erica to tell her she was on her way out and to get ready for lunch because she was joining her whether she liked it or not. Erica smiled at her phone. She liked pushy Jane. She'd be extremely attracted to pushy angry Jane once upon a time then she and her crazy ex had gotten together and were together for three years. The drink-throwing incident was in fact because Erica and Jane were together that night and Louise thought Erica had cheated on her with Jane. But Erica hadn't told Jane that. She was still attracted to Jane but she realised Jane was totally hung up on Doctor Isles and she respected that. She knew she could never be Maura Isles, no one could compare to that woman. Except maybe Jessica. She smiled as she thought about her new lover. They'd arranged dinner this weekend and Erica was really looking forward to it. She was daydreaming about their first kiss as Jane entered the diner. She waved to the detective who sat down opposite her at the Formica table. The waitress approached and they ordered. Erica relaxed back into her chair but Jane sat stock still bolt upright in the chair, thumbs playing with the palms of her hands, eyes darting every time a noise sounded out of place.

"Rizzoli. You look like you're waiting on a CI or you think someone has a hit out on you? What's up?"

"Nothing is up. Why does everyone keep asking me that? I am perfectly fine. I just wanted to have lunch with a friend"

Jane looked into her companions blue eyes and looked away just as face, ashamed at how she'd jumped down her throat.

"I'm sorry Erica".

"I've had worse, I think we both have Jane. In fact that was pleasant compared to the meth head that tried to mow me down in his Buick this morning. But come on there's something up. I'm worried about you".

"I em…" Jane decided a bit of deflection was in order for a little while. She wasn't ready yet. "How's Jessica?"

Erica smiled the way she had been when Jane first came in.

"She's good"

"Good. That's all I'm getting?"

"You want details Rizzoli?"

"No" Jane answered quicker than she intended. She was lucky Erica wasn't easily offended and understood that Jane was answering out of fear rather than disgust.

Erica moved a hand to cover Jane's, which were joined and resting on the table. "I was kidding Jane, relax".

The waitress interrupted them with coffee. Looking at the joined hands she rolled her eyes. "Get a room will you? I don't want you freaking out my customers"  
Jane felt Erica squeeze her hands tighter. "We're fine here thanks". Erica took her badge out and placed it on the table for emphasis watching the woman's eyes widen as she backed away.

Jane wanted to curl into a ball and hide under the table but she looked again at those blue eyes, reassuring her, trying to calm her down.

"You know that saying, ignorance is bliss? It's actually true in far more cases than we realise"

Jane shook her head and sighed. "How do you do it?"

"Ignore it mostly. Jane if I let every person who had an opinion on my life actually have an impact on it I'd never have one. Doctor Seuss captured it perfectly with a saying I have in a frame on my desk 'the people who matter don't mind and the people who mind don't matter'. This is about Maura?"

Jane nodded, her eyes staring down at their joined hands, feeling like the waitress was still watching them even though she'd long since retreated to the kitchen telling another waitress to take their table. Erica followed her gaze and removed her hands smiling gently at Jane.

"It's okay Jane"

"Is it? In fact what is this 'it' that's okay?"

"It is the first time I've ever seen anyone rattle big bad Jane Rizzoli in matters of the heart. It is butterflies in the tummy. It is silly little smiles at nothing. It is that look you have in your eye right now – here but far away in her arms"

Jane shook her head "Wow I think you just summed up the last 5 years of my life"

"Jane honey you've got it bad. I've seen the way you look at her. I thought you knew. I thought the guys were just a stop over on the way to getting what you wanted"

"A stop over?" Jane was incredulous for a moment, but then she started to think about it. She was silent for a long time. The new waitress came and went with their food and Erica was half way through her sandwich before Jane spoke again.

"What the hell have I been doing Ric?"

"You haven't been doing anything. And that might be the problem detective. But you're not doing anything we haven't all done at some stage, been blind to what is right in front of our eyes.

"But I don't know what to do? What do I do?"

Erica was going to laugh but she realised that her friend was genuinely pleading with her to tell her.

"I can't tell you what to do Rizzoli. I can tell you what I'd do but I don't think that would help the situation much. Plus it'd probably get me in trouble with our seminar coach and I'm kind of fond of her".

"I'm glad for you Rooney, I really am. She's a nice lady"

"Hands off she's mine" Erica laughed as Jane glared at her.

"Not funny Rooney, not funny"

As they finished their lunch Jane couldn't talk anymore about Maura so they chatted about Erica's plans for the weekend, where she was taking Jessica, what she was planning on wearing – for this bit Jane made encouraging noises, much like she did when Maura spoke about shopping – and whether Erica saw it as a long-term thing.

As they left the diner and went back out into the warm afternoon air the two women said their goodbyes and Erica had one parting piece of advice for her friend;

"Just tell her Jane".

It was something Jane repeated to herself over and over again as she drove back to the prescient.

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Korsak was emerging from Café One with a coffee as Jane walked in.

"Hey Jane. Doc said to give you this". He handed Jane a small envelope with a J written on the front of it in Maura's distinctive script.

"I just got a message from her now to say she has some initial findings on the Sophie Murdoch case. Going down that way. Want me to send a message back?" he asked, nodding to the envelope.

Jane opened it and read the note – it was short and to the point:

_Jane,_

_I will find out what is wrong with you. I'd rather you tell me yourself. But if not I will work it out. _

_Maura._

Jane folded the paper and slipped it into her pocket.

"I'll go down and get the preliminary report Vince. Go enjoy your coffee"

"You sure?"

Jane nodded. "I need to have a chat with Maura"

"Okay see you in a bit"

Korsak got on one elevator going up while Jane took the other one down to the morgue.

She had no idea what she was going to say when she got there. She just knew that she needed to follow Erica's advice, however long it might take".

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**A/N 2 Ok so with Jane she has a tendency to take a lot longer to say things than is normal! So this might take a little time. But keep with me. She'll get there. She's just being stubborn, as is Jane's usual MO. I thought Maura would get to be more fun in this part but she just got thick with Jane for being so narky – you can't blame her really! I'll get the next bit up asap – scout's honour! I've just started college again so it might be a little longer. But I want to have some fun with this one, I like it. I hope you do too **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Standing at the morgue's double doors it was almost like there was some invisible barrier preventing Jane from opening them.

Maura was sewing up the Y incision on Sophie Jenkins. She had some preliminary tox screen results for alcohol and drugs and she was waiting for Detective Korsak to come and pick them up.

When she looked up and saw Jane standing outside her bodies first reaction was to smile. However it was followed milliseconds later by the urge to scowl. She did neither and kept her expression neutral as she watched Jane war with her feelings. She could see that her friend was in turmoil and it was killing her. But she'd rescued her too many times. Now it was Jane's turn to ask for help. Maura knew that Jane was never going to learn to be a fully rounded human being if she didn't learn to ask for help.

Jane was wringing her hands and thinking about every possible reason not to open those doors. Her head was telling her to turn around and get back in the elevator. Her heart was saying "Its Maura, what is wrong with you?" But that was a question she still didn't know the answer to.

Putting a hand to the door it took her a moment before she pushed it open and walked in. Gone was the normal swagger and confidence she usually entered with. It was replaced by a nervousness that was so uncharacteristic for Jane it almost didn't seem like her entering the room. Maura did a double take just to make sure she had indeed walked in the door and wasn't still standing outside.

"Detective". Maura's greeting was brief but it held a small amount of warmth because she could never stay angry with Jane. Not when she was hurting like this.

"Korsak said you have some results?"

"Just some preliminary tox screen results. She had alcohol in her system. Not enough to make her inebriated. There was also trace amounts of some kind of drug, lab are narrowing it down now"

"So she had drugs on board? And alcohol?"

"It would appear that way yes"

"Okay"

"Okay? Now I know there's definitely something wrong. Your usual reaction to the word 'appear' is – it's either yes or no Maura, there's no in between!"

"You're the doctor, not me. I can't do your job"

Jane turned to leave but Maura wasn't letting go that easily. Moving to walk faster than the Detective she stopped still in front of her and as Jane tried to side step her both ways she moved to block her path.

"Jane you are infuriating me. And I don't use that word often".

Jane looked down unable to meet her friend's eye. Last night she'd had one of the most erotic dreams she'd ever had. Maura had taken her on her desk in the bullpen in the dead of night. Jane's usual reserved nature had gone by the wayside as Maura touched her and kissed her and made her cum as she screamed her friend's name not caring who heard. When she woke up with a start she found herself drenched in sweat, hair plastered to her chest and neck and heat and wetness between her legs that was unbearable. She squeezed her eyes shut as she relieved the ache that otherwise meant she'd go another night without sleep; it was happening a lot at the moment. She rubbed herself furiously, no gentle touches. She was trying to think about anything but her friend in the still darkness of the night. But in her minds eye she was imagining Maura's gentle kisses and soft touches as she made Jane have the best imaginary orgasm of her life. When Jane eventually made herself cum in reality, the release that followed was empty and meaningless. Masturbation might as Maura suggested relieve stress and increase hormone levels. But when you came down from the endorphin fuelled high and realised you were still alone in your bed the loneliness was all consuming. Jane rolled onto her side and let herself a moment to cry before scrubbing at her eyes with the back of her hand and pulling the comforter up to her neck. She slipped in and out of a restless sleep as she thought about how she'd betrayed her friend once again.

Now standing in the morgue trapped by the woman who was causing her sleepless nights she felt like a rabbit caught in the headlights.

Maura stepped forward and lifted her chin with her fingers. The gentle touch made Jane flinch and take a step back. When she looked up Maura had a pained expression on her face that Jane wanted to take away.

"Maur, I can't do this"

"Jane I have not the faintest clue what you're talking about. I'm going to ask again, have we had some kind of fight that I'm not aware of?"  
Jane gave a slight smile. That was one of the things she loved most about Maura, her ability to be totally socially inept.

But Maura interpreted the smile as a smirk.

"If my interest in your welfare is so amusing Detective then I suggest you leave. This is my morgue and I will not be mocked. Least of all by the person I trust most in the world. Your day-to-day mockery of my abilities is allowed, I understand now it is not meant as an insult. But when I'm displaying nothing but concern for your welfare I will not be ridiculed"

Maura stepped aside to allow Jane to leave. But Jane couldn't move. She was rooted to the spot. Maura had made her way back to the table and was about to resume her stitching when she realised Jane wasn't moving. She stayed like that for a minute before Maura became really concerned.

"Jane?"

She walked to where the Detective was standing.

"Jane?" she asked again as she stood in front of her now.

She moved into Jane's personal space again and lifted her chin with her fingers.

"Tell Me"

"I'm scared"

"Scared of what?"  
"I don't know"

"Are you having nightmares again?"

How could Jane explain that Maura was the furthest from right she'd ever been in her life? No she wasn't having nightmares but rather wonderful dreams that in the end made her feel as bad as the nightmares.

"Jane you look like you haven't slept in days"

"I haven't"  
Maura stepped closer again and moved to slip her arms under Jane's like she always did for a hug, the next step was always Jane wrapping her arms around her shoulders and pulling her close. But her friend didn't move her arms; they remained limp by her side. Jane's body went rigid, almost like she was having some kind of seizure.

Maura pulled back and regarded her friend again.

"Jane are you ill?"

Jane shook her head.

"Maybe you should think about making an appointment. There is clearly something very wrong…"

Maura was cut off mid sentence as she felt Jane's hands move to her hips. In the blink of an eye, before she had a chance to ask what was going on, she felt soft lips kissing her, a gentle exploration that was full of shyness and tentativeness, almost like a first kiss. And as soon as it started it was over.

Jane pulled back, not even stopping to look at the honey blonde who wore a look of total shock.

Maura turned to look at the door just in time to see Jane's figure pass by the last pane of glass.

She touched her lips and located the nearest chair to sit down. She felt light headed.

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Jane got to the bullpen and Korsak was sitting at his desk shopping for winter coats for the dogs, they were half price he'd just finished explaining to Frost.

"What did Doctor Isles have for us on the Jenkins case Jane?"

Jane didn't answer as she mirrored Maura's action of locating the nearest chair. Her legs had almost given out twice in the lift and she had no memory of how she got from the morgue to said chair.

Korsak knew he needed to back off. Jane was white as a sheet. He knew better than to ask her questions when she was like that. He shot a look at Frost to tell him not to worry and then asked very loudly "Frost, coffee?"

He'd only just finished one cup but he could do with another if this was going to be Jane's mood for rest of the day.

Frost chimed in with a quick "Uh yeah, let's go" and both men got up to leave.

Jane didn't even notice them leave.

She was totally out of it for half an hour, replaying it in her head over and over.

Had she really just kissed her best friend? What the hell was she doing? Well one thing was for sure, she wasn't her best friend anymore. The last of these thoughts hurt Jane the most.

She retrieved her phone from her pocket and sent a quick text to Erica:

_I've done something so stupid. Even by my standards it's stupid on a new level. Have you time for a drink this evening?_

The reply chimed a few minutes later as Jane was once again lost in her thoughts:

_Sure. Murphy's around 8:30? And it can't be that stupid Jane. _

Jane texted back a quick:

_Oh believe me it can! See you then. _

She opened some video she needed to review from the Jenkins case of the last time Sophie was seen alive. She hoped something visual would help her take her mind off the kiss, though she doubted it.

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**A/N Thanks for all your lovely feedback and follows guys – you make me smile so much **** I'm going to let Jane stew a bit longer. I kind of think Jane goes through the stages of grief when stuff like this happens to her, though I don't know if she ever finally gets to acceptance in some cases! The next chapter will see her having that drink with Erica.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Jane had shed her clothes the minute she had walked in the door and laid on the bed in her baby blue boy shorts and bra. She laid her hands on her bare stomach as she closed her eyes she replayed it for the fiftieth time since it had happened. At this stage she was wondering if she hadn't imagined it and it was all just an awful dream. But it wasn't. Maura didn't think Jane had caught the look of abject horror on her face. But she had, just a glimpse as she bolted towards the door, but enough to alert her to the fact she had just stepped way too far over a line neither one of them had ever officially drawn.

"What the fuck?" she said out loud to no one in particular. Of course Jo took as an invite to join her and licked Jane's leg as she got overexcited about seeing her owner for the first time in hours. Jane sat scratching her belly for a few minutes asking the dog totally inane questions as if she was going to have an answer for them. She headed for the shower and Jo skittered along behind her hoping she'd be allowed join her to get out of the heat. Jane drew the line at sharing her shower with the little fur ball however. Her bed, her couch, even her clothes when Jo made a bed in them when she was too lazy to scale her bed. But not her shower.

She changed into loose fitting jeans and her Boston Homicide baseball shirt. Bringing her hair up off her neck after her shower with a tie had helped her shoulders to relax for the first time since it happened. The cool air that ghosted her skin relaxed her slightly in the stifling heat. Of course the heat was less to do with the temperature outside than her thoughts about that kiss.

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Jane had most of the label picked off the bottle of Blue Moon by the time Erica arrived at the bar. She had been there half an hour already brooding.

"Uhoh, label picking. Never a good sign". Erica slipped into the booth across from her friend. "How long have you been here?"

"No idea" Jane said, staring intently at the bottle.

"Okay I'm going to the bar because it's too warm to have this conversation without cold alcohol. Another?"

Jane nodded and Erica headed to the bar. She watched the younger woman go, tight black jeans hugging her ass, black kitten heels, red top open down the back and held together at the top and bottom with thick bands of black material. Her blonde hair was brought up off her neck in a black clasp. She was beautiful Jane thought to herself.

The thought was quickly replaced by one of 'Jesus Rizzoli what are you doing? Eyeing up another friend? What planet is your head on?'  
She saw Erica returning with two beers and looked down beginning to pick at the label on the empty one again.

"Maura?"  
"Straight to the point Rooney"

"Jane, you've known me what – 6 years? If there's one thing you know it's that I'm nothing if not direct. What happened?"  
"I… I…" Jane looked down at her hands, intertwining her fingers.

"You killed her? You burned down her house? You crashed her car?"

"I kissed her" Jane interrupted a list that she knew Erica would keep going with if she didn't answer.

"See. Wasn't everything I was saying a million times worse than that?"  
"I'd rather be in lock up for burning the house down than this"  
"Murder?"  
"I'd kill anyone that hurt her. I have"

"Whoa, do I need to arrest you?"  
"No, it's okay, it's common knowledge"

"Jane, it was a kiss. Was it a nice kiss?"  
"Ric please don't."  
"Okay. Sorry. What did she say?"  
"I've no idea. I ran"

"At least now I know you're fight or flight response"

"Believe me it's normally fight. But I couldn't fight. I was too scared"

"But you could fight for her. Hell you just told me you killed for her"

Jane started tapping her fingers on the table top.

Erica covered her hands with hers to stop her nervous reaction.

"Jane it's okay. It was a kiss. It's not the end of the world"

"You're not being helpful!"  
"I am, you just don't know it yet. Maura is a smart lady. She's beautiful, she's professional and she's sweet as sugar. She's not going to hold this against you".

She squeezed Jane's hands tighter. "You'll get through this. And hopefully somewhere in the middle of all of it you'll figure out what you want"

Jane had a pleading look on her face as she looked up and Erica knew what she was going to ask.

"I can't tell you what that is Jane. I can tell you what I see but I can't tell you what you want"

"What do you see?"  
"Are you sure you're a detective?" Erica winked and Jane groaned.

"You are totally smitten Jane. I'm not sure it's love but it's the closest I've seen in a long time"  
"It is love" Jane whispered quietly.

Erica smiled as she stood up and moved into the booth beside her friend. She put her arm around Jane's shoulders and felt her lean her head against her shoulder.

"Well then you know what you have to do Rizzoli"

"What?"

Erica gave her a stern look. "You know"

Jane shook her head. "I can't"

"You can. I know you can. You just don't know it yet"

"So what I'm just meant to go over, knock on her door and go 'Hey Maur, remember when I kissed you? Yeah I really meant it. And oh yeah I love you'"

"Something like that"

"You infuriate me sometimes Rooney"  
"That's an awful big word for you"  
Jane smiled to herself "Maura used it earlier. You're right, it's too intelligent for my pea brain to come up with"

"Jane, you're as intelligent as the Doc. She's book smart, you're street smart. Together you're a walking encyclopaedia"

"Maura can do that all on her own"

"She could. But it's more fun having someone by your side who understands the meaning of runners on a phone line or fiddling with metres"

Jane laughed "Yeah I know all the drugs and homicide tricks by heart. That makes me a real catch"

"If you went into any gay bar in this city you'd be pounced on and it wouldn't be your brain anyone looking for a quick fuck would be interested in. Thankfully I know that's not what you want, because trust me most of the time it's not pretty. Maura knows how smart you are. You're just too dumb to see it"

"I'm not sure if that's an insult or a compliment"  
"It's a compliment. Jane you are sexy as hell. My God woman when you walk into a room jaws drop – men and women stop what they're doing just to stare at you!"

"Shut it Ric"  
"I'm serious. If I had an inkling you were even vaguely interested in batting for my team, well lets just say I would have at least attempted to get to first base". Erica drained the last of her beer and nodded her head to both empty glasses "Another?"  
"Em you know what I think I'm going to call it a night. I've an early start tomorrow and I need to get home and walk Jo" Jo was actually off with Frankie because he'd met a woman at the dog park and now Jo was there when he had a free evening being used as a pawn in his little game to get Felicity to go out with him.

"Listen I didn't mean to scare you with that 'you're hot' stuff. You are Jane – but you only have eyes for one lady. And me, well I'm a bit smitten with this gorgeous woman who just waltzed into my life.

Jane smiled. "You didn't scare me. Still going good?"  
"Mhmm" Erica ducked her head, becoming slightly bashful. "She's coming tomorrow. Couldn't wait until the weekend. We both called in a couple of favours so she'll be here in the afternoon and we'll have a few days together"

Jane stood and Erica did so too so they could slide out of the booth. She clapped her on the back as they walked toward the door.

"I'm really glad for you Erica. You deserve some happiness after that crazy ex".

Erica turned as they reached the pavement and hugged Jane tight.

"Go get her. And this time don't run away before she has a chance to say something or do something"

Jane nodded into Erica's shoulder. "I'll try"

They parted with a quick kiss on the cheek and a promise from Erica that they'd meet up next week to discuss how it went.

Jane got in the first yellow cab that came along and hesitated, annoying the driver for a good minute, before finally giving Maura's address. All the old sayings about 'striking while the irons hot' and 'biting the bullet' came into her brain as she sat in the back of the cab. But when she got out of it and was standing in front of Maura's house sayings weren't a problem. Thinking however, was a problem. In fact Jane wasn't sure if her first language was even English anymore.

Walking up to the door and knocking because she was too nervous to just walk in like she usually did she heard footsteps on the floor and then the locks on the door were being opened. Jane was pretty sure it was at this point that she stopped breathing.

Maura stood there in a pair of black yoga pants and a loose fitting turquoise t-shirt. Her hair was tied up and she was wearing hardly any make-up. Jane just stood staring, pretty sure that on top of forgetting English she'd forgotten how to speak as well.

Maura smiled and put a hand out to her friend, who was clearly in another world in her head and needed a little bit of grounding.

Thankfully Jane's brain kicked in enough to take the hand that was offered to her. She walked in the door she'd walked through hundreds of times before. This felt different and it was scaring her. Stopping just short so Maura had room to close it – never letting go of her hand – Jane stood still afraid to move too far from the door in case she needed to run again.

A soft voice called her name but it sounded like it was a million miles away. When she heard it again it was full of concern.

"Jane, what on earth is the matter?"  
Jane took her free hand and raised it to her face. She realised she was crying. She realised the woman who was holding her hand, the woman she trusted more than anyone in the world, the love of her life was probably already taken. And that she realised was why she was crying.

Her voice shaky she looked into the ME's eyes and asked quietly

"Who's Violet?" 

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**A/N I promise the next chapter won't be more than a week or two in the making. I was going to try and put it in here but there's too much to do and not enough time to do it! It'll probably need more than one chapter anyway the way Jane is going! **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Thanks for sticking with me for this one guys. I'll be honest I'm having a conundrum about whether to get our girls together and whether Jane's conscience would let her. I think she's still having a bit of gay panic but there's something else as well. I'll see where she decides to go when I start writing. Jane is so flipping complicated sometimes! **

**Chapter 7**

Jane realised that was it – that's what had been driving her crazy. She'd finally figured out her tipping point – this woman Violet. She could cope with Ian and the other guys but the thought that Maura could be with a woman and that woman wasn't her was what tipped her over the edge.

Maura was still looking at her with a total look of bewilderment on her face

"Violet? My spare bedroom is a kind of Violet hue but it's more a plum colour. But the pronoun 'who' indicates that you are talking about a person?"

Jane's speech was once again failing her. She was looking towards the door wondering how quickly she could get out. She berated herself for being weak and asking who this woman was. But she had to know. And yet she was terrified what the answer would be.

She felt a small tug on her hand. The tears had abated to a manageable level but her sight was still slightly blurry so she hesitated to move. But as she felt another gentle tug on her hand she began to move letting the smaller woman direct her.

Finally taking a seat on the sofa Maura retrieved the throw she had been wrapped in minutes earlier and put it around Jane's shoulders. The tall Detective was shivering and Maura wanted to warm her up before she began to interrogate her about what the hell was going on.

She rubbed Jane's shoulders through the chenille throw helping the detective to come back to the present moment and gently easing the worry from her body. Maura felt and saw Jane relax and she began to slow her movements. Moving back from where they sat perched on the edge of the sofa, where Jane had sat deliberately, ready to flee, Maura brought the lithe form back against her on the sofa. Settling Jane's head on her shoulder she opened the throw wider so it covered most of the Detective's body. The tears and shaking had stopped, replaced by a lethargy that was almost as disturbing. Maura reached down to check Jane's pulse at her wrist it was slow and steady as her friend was beginning to fall asleep against her shoulder.

The interrogation could wait. Right now, knowing that Jane hadn't been sleeping, she was content to give the Detective the few hours' rest she so obviously needed.

She closed her own eyes and laid her head softly against Jane's so as not to disturb her.

It didn't take long for Maura to join Jane in sleep. She figured she would require the energy to deal with whatever the woman sleeping on her was about to throw at her. She thought again briefly about the kiss. She'd thought about it many times through the evening. She had known she would see Jane at some stage tonight. She wasn't sure when but she knew that she would come. Jane was nothing if not conscientious about accounting for her actions. She often made half of it up to get her out of trouble with Cavanaugh, but she always did it nonetheless.

Maura smiled as she turned her head and placed a gentle kiss on the Detective's head before falling asleep.

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A few hours later, some time around 2 a.m., something in Jane's back objected strongly to the move she made to twist out of the arms around her when she woke. She had woken with a start. She didn't know where she was or who was holding her. When the smell of jasmine filled the air she immediately let out a sigh of relief.

'Maura', it was the first thought that came into her head when she smelled that smell.

The relief was quickly replaced by fright. What had happened? Why was she in Maura's house? Why was she in Maura's arms?

She tried to move but Maura wasn't asleep. She'd woken some minutes earlier and just closed her eyes to relax while Jane slept on her. Maura immediately felt the movement. Opening her eyes she looked at the squirming figure as tussled curls were roughly pushed to one side while Jane tried to garner her surroundings and devise an exit strategy.

"The door is locked, but you know where the key is. I'd prefer if you didn't leave Jane. I'd rather you stayed and we talked. But it's up to you" Maura wasn't going to scare Jane away again. Even though she wasn't sure exactly why the Detective had decided to flee from her morgue.

Jane turned to look up at the Doctor, trying but failing to formulate a sentence. What was wrong with her? A small voice in her head spoke up 'right this is it Rizzoli, its fight or flight time, and you know Rooney will kick your ass if you run'

Maura was watching waiting for a response. About to speak again she heard Jane say quietly

"I'm sorry"

She watched as Jane changed her position on the sofa so she was no longer within her reach. Maura wasn't so much scared of the physical distance as of the barrier that she was sure was going to go up. But she wasn't going to let it this time.

"Sorry for what?"

Jane shrugged.

"It's all well and good being sorry Jane, but if you don't know what you're apologising for I can't really accept it can I?"

Jane turned her head to glower at Maura.

"Do you have to be so literal about everything?"  
"Yes"  
Jane gave a hollow laugh "Figures".  
"Jane we can go around in circles all night talking about my total lack of social skills or capabilities to understand sarcasm or you can stop being an idiot and tell me what's wrong?"

"Did you just call me an idiot?"

Maura wasn't capable of insulting someone unless it was in a mocking way so the fact she had just insulted her best friend shocked her.

"Yes I did. But Jane you are for want of a better phrase because I'm lost for one right now 'driving me insane'".

Jane smiled half-heartedly.

"I forgive you"

Maura almost forgot what they'd been talking about moments earlier so amazed was she that she got angry enough with Jane to call her names in a hurtful manner.

"I'm not sure I forgive myself. I'm sorry".

Jane stood up to leave.

"Right so lets say we're both sorry and leave it at that. Night Maur"

Jane felt fingers intertwine with hers as she tried to stand.

"Jane I can't take this anymore. Sit down"

Jane slouched down onto the sofa once again and laid her head back against the cushions.

"Why did you kiss me?" Maura asked quietly.

Jane groaned internally. She didn't have an answer for that. Or rather she did but she was only slowly working it out for herself right now. She turned to look sideways and the petite woman sitting with her head titled staring at her intently.

"Maura I don't have an answer for that right now. I can tell you it was because I wanted to but I can't tell you anymore than that. My brain hasn't got a 3.2-gigahertz processor in it like yours. It takes me time to work this stuff out".

Jane watched as a perfectly manicured set of fingers moved towards her. She wasn't sure what was coming but she was sure if it was a slap she deserved it. It wasn't. She felt soft fingers slide along the side of her head a thumb caressing her cheekbone as Maura moved closer to her. Jane was frozen, it was becoming a common sensation, and not one she liked very much. The feeling that followed was much nicer.

Jane's eyes were already closed in anticipation of the touch of Maura's lips to hers. Maura smiled at the Detective's eagerness as she closed the final few inches of space between them. Careful at first, thinking she might break the revere Jane had fallen into, their lips barely touched. Small gentle kisses. As Jane shifted to turn her whole body into Maura she felt the fingers cupping her jaw tighten. Almost immediately she felt Maura's tongue dart out and lick her lower lip quickly, so quick Jane thought she might have imagined it. But then she felt it again. She slid her right hand behind Maura to the nape of her neck and intertwined her fingers in golden curls.

She opened her mouth to accommodate the warm tongue that was now putting pressure on her lips, while trying to capture some air. She knew it was a necessity if she wanted to keep doing this. And she did.

Feeling Maura's tongue against her own she began to swirl it gently, feeling Maura do the same. It was a soft exploration, a dance. There was no pressure, no hurry.

Eventually air became a necessity for both of them. Leaning back only slightly Maura felt Jane rest her forehead against hers. She relaxed slightly at the gesture as it reassured her that Jane wasn't going to panic and run.

She saw a grin on the Detective's face as she pulled slightly away to take in her face fully.

"You seem happy with yourself?"  
"No just happy. God Maur, I've wanted to do that for so long"

Maura leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Jane's cheek.

"You can do it for as long as you want my darling."

Jane's eyes widened.

"You mean…?"  
"I mean…? You need to finish your sentences Detective. You know how it irks me!" Maura winked.

"You mean you want to keep doing this?"  
"Of course Jane. Why would I not?"  
Jane's thoughts quickly turned to the night she had stood inside the doorway to the house and watched Maura touch herself. She couldn't start something like this off on a lie.

"You might want to move back a bit, I'm finding it hard to concentrate with you so close. And you'll probably want to move further away anyway when I tell you what I'm about to"

Maura looked at Jane quizzically.

"What is it Jane? Is there something wrong?"

"It's more something I did wrong…"

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**A/N 2: I'm not being a tease I promise. I want to give this next bit a whole chapter because to be honest I'm not sure what Maura's reaction is going to be yet. If you'd like to suggest one please feel free? I'm giving it a chapter because Maura – even with her speedy processing capabilities doesn't do emotions very well and I'm not sure yet whether she'll be betrayed/turned on/annoyed/out and out hurt by Jane's confession. **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N Thank you all for your lovely feedback. You've had some interesting ideas on where I should go with this. And I think angry but understanding Maura seems to be the general consensus. As for where Jane is going. Well we'll just have to wait and see….**

**Chapter 8**

"_It's more something I did wrong…"_

Maura raised an eyebrow. "Wrong? How do you mean wrong?"  
Jane was staring at her hands, willing any divine power that existed to do something, anything, to intervene. But she knew now it didn't work like that.

She looked back at Maura who was obviously waiting for an answer. And Jane realised she owed her one. She'd been messing with Maura for too long. It was time to tell her the truth. And if the truth meant losing her friendship then that would have to be her punishment.

"I…." 'Great start Rizzoli' Jane scolded herself. Now try a couple of words strung together.

"I, you were, Ma, Wednesday. I was just getting…"

Jane growled and tossed her head back. Fortunately it only hit the pillows of the sofa. Had it been anything harder she would have had a concussion. She took a deep breath to steady herself and looked up at Maura who was looking so concerned it broke her heart.

"Jane, please"

"Maur, don't look at me like that"  
"Like what?"

"Like you care about me?"  
Maura was now looking thoroughly confused.

"Of course I care about you Jane. You are my best friend"

"I saw you" – Jane said it over the end of 'friend' meaning Maura had to ask her to repeat herself. And Jane knew those three words weren't sufficient. The knots she could feel tying up inside her were causing her actual physical pain. She leaned forward, elbows on her knees, head bowed, fingers buried in her curls. She felt Maura's hand moved to her lower back and rest on the small of it just between the gap in her jeans and top. She shivered at Maura's gentle touch but made a concerted effort to continue.

"Last Wednesday night Ma was baking brownies for her stupid cart". Jane took another deep breath, intent on getting this out in one go before Maura had a chance to interrupt.

"Wednesday night?" Maura pondered out loud but Jane cut across her.

"No Maur, just listen, no thinking. I know that's difficult for you. Just listen please" The small pleading tone in the detective's voice made the doctor take notice and she quieted.

"You were here. I came to borrow a sieve for Ma. And you were here"

"Jane you said that already"

"Maur"

"Sorry I'll be quiet but Jane you need to start making sense soon"

Jane shook her head as she tried to figure out if this even made sense in her head yet. Her usual precision and rehearsal for going into important situations like this was forgotten. No police training on earth was going to get her through this.

"You were lying here awake" Jane swept her hand in the direction of the sofa they were both sitting on.

"You were alone, it was late and you'd had a few drinks. There was a glass on the table along with a book. And a bottle of your favourite wine was half empty on the island". Ever the detective Jane had taken in the details before she'd realised what her friend was doing.

Maura had been rubbing her lower back gently with her hand but it slowed down the more Jane talked. Maura was remembering everything that Jane could never forget.

"You were in your pyjamas, sort of. Your hair was loose and you were lying down. You looked so beautiful" Jane said the last part quietly as if it was a secret she'd kept from her friend. It was not secret to anyone that met Maura Isles that she was a beautiful woman. But for Jane to say it out loud: that was a secret she thought she'd have to keep forever.

Maura had removed her hand from Jane's back and was now sitting quietly. She was still physically in contact with Jane because their legs were touching. And she could feel through that contact that the detective was shaking. She knew what Jane was going to say, it had dawned on her moments earlier what she had been doing that night, but she also knew Jane had to say it out loud as a kind of cathartic exercise.

"I was quiet coming in because it had been a long week and I thought you'd be asleep. You weren't"

Maura held back on saying 'yes you told me I was awake' because she knew this was one of the hardest things she'd ever seen Jane do, and she'd seen her do a lot.

"You were awake and you were… you were… touching yourself, pleasuring yourself"

Maura heard the tears in the last few words Jane spoke. She felt the shaking get slightly worse and she knew that the weight her friend had been carrying around had not lifted with admission like it would with most, but rather it had crushed her.

Maura took a moment to work through things in her mind. Her innate inbuilt response to Jane's tears was to gather her into her arms and comfort her. That kiss had awakened in her a level of feeling she'd subconsciously been aware of but had never really taken seriously. Sure she'd thought about it but as far as she was concerned Jane would never get to a point where a kiss would be possible. Her own fantasies did what needed to be done to keep things in check.

Now here she was, sitting on her couch, having shared an intimate and in Maura's vast experience pretty spectacular kiss with this woman. And Jane had just admitted that before that kiss she'd seen her engage in one of the most private intimate acts she ever performed. Maura had no problem talking about masturbation, it was widely studied and various analyses had been carried out concerning its practice. The one thing she did not share was how she touched herself or what got her aroused. She only shared those things with lovers.

Two things occurred to her in that moment as she placed her hand back on Jane's lower back. Jane sat up slightly at the touch elbows coming off her knees but still bent over. Maura brought her other hand around to Jane's front and put it on her stomach making the taller woman sit up.

"Look at me Jane"  
Jane's inability to let people see her weak was playing a big part in her avoiding eye contact. It took her a few moments but she managed to turn and look her friend in the eye.

Maura removed her hand from her stomach and brought it up to her face to try and wipe away some of the tears.

"First the tears have to stop"

Jane nodded and took a deep gulp of air, not unlike a toddler after they'd quit crying after a tantrum.

"Okay. Now." Maura reached under the cushion behind her and produced a book, the book she'd been reading that night. She opened it to the bookmarked page and handed it to a very confused looking detective.

"Read the next four paragraphs" – Maura knew exactly what section Jane needed to read.

As she got to the end of the second paragraph Jane's face began to go slightly pale. By the time she'd finished and turned back to look at Maura again she looked almost like she was in shock.

"That's Violet?"  
Maura gave a small nod. She knew that the self-recrimination was going to start and Jane's inevitable diatribe about how stupid she always was and how wrong she always got things would start. So Maura spoke before Jane could.

"It's my escape from work, from life, from death, from the world I suppose" Maura ruminated. "I use it as a gateway to a parallel universe where I'm not who I am and everything can change in an instant, without it having any impact on the real world when I get back to it"

Jane replayed some of the raunchy scenes over in her head again.

"Pretty interesting way to escape Maur"

"Forgive me but I don't think you're in any place to judge right now detective".

Jane lowered her eyes "No I'm sorry"  
"I don't want you to be sorry Jane. I want you to explain"

"Explain what?"

"Explain all of this!" Maura said exasperated.

"Why you ran away? Why you kissed me? Why you stayed that night?"  
Jane thought her head was going to explode with all the details Maura wanted. But she knew it was the least she deserved.

"I probably need to answer them the other way around if that's okay?"

"Yes please, just explain any way you can Jane"

"I stayed because…" she knew the answer now

"I stayed because I was in a complete trance. I was rooted to the spot. My mind kept saying 'leave, get out'. But my heart and my body were responding in ways I'd never felt before. My heart was beating so loud I was afraid you'd hear it and realise I was there"

Jane took a breath and looked at Maura who nodded, encouraging her to continue.

"I kissed you because when I was idiotic enough to think Violet was a real person jealously was like liquid in my veins. I didn't know what drove it at the time other than I saw you and thought 'I have to kiss her, I need to kiss her'.

Jane caught the small smile on Maura's face at that point and it caused her heart rate to increase rather than settle.

"And I ran because I couldn't bear to think I was going to lose you. It's that simple. I thought if I never saw you again, never spoke to you again, it'd be fine. We'd move on. You'd have a life. I'd have dogs like Korsak and that'd be it. I'd never get over losing you but I'd find solace in the banality of life"

And that was it. All Jane had been thinking about, overanalysing and losing sleep over, put together in a few simple sentences.

"What about me?" Maura asked.

That was a question Jane hadn't banked on.

"You?"  
"Yes me? What about what all of this has done to me Jane? Did you think about that in all of your reasoning and rationing? Did you think about how I was feeling?"

Jane bowed her head

"Yes all the time".

It was simple and honest. And Maura knew it was true. She knew Jane Rizzoli better than Jane Rizzoli knew herself. This must have been torturing her. And Maura realised that she was adding to it. She stood up and moved towards the kitchen. Jane sagged slightly against the cushions. That was the final nail in the coffin of their friendship. As she began to follow suit and got up wearily to leave she heard Maura's voice.

"Sit down and show me"

She managed to follow the first part of the instruction easily since she hadn't quite stood up. The other part she was having more trouble with.

She heard the instruction from the other side of the room again – realising that Maura was standing where she had been that night.

"Sit down and show me"

Jane's hands were shaking. She took a deep breath and turned to lie on the sofa.

"Show me" It was becoming like a mantra.

The more Maura said it the more aroused Jane was becoming. Her voice was different, her tone low and seductive.

Jane lay at an angle on the sofa that gave Maura a slightly better view than she had had and took another deep breath. She opened the button fly on her jeans and placed her fingertips on the hem of her underwear.

"Show Me"

Jane didn't need to be told again. Slowly she slipped two fingers into warm wet folds whimpering as the tip of her index finger found her clit.

"How does it feel?"  
"You want me to talk you through this? Maur I…" Jane had to stop as a quiver ran through her lower tummy and legs "I c-c-can't t-talk you through it. You'll juu-st have to watch and listen".

Maura nodded and although Jane couldn't see in the dark her eyes were fixed on the brunette running up and down her body taking in the planes and curves.

"My God Jane you are so beautiful"

Jane blushed as she continued to circle her clit "Thanks"

"I mean it. You are so beautiful"

Jane bit the corner of her lip as she sped up the movement of her fingers.

"Keep talkin' Maur… please… helps"

"I never realised. I've watched you, I've thought about you when I touch myself sometimes. That kiss, I can still taste you on my lips. Maura put her fingers to her lips as she watched the taller woman's pace quicken.

"Ah, yes fuucckk", Jane had turned slightly so she could slip her fingers into the river of wetness. When she managed to get two fingers inside herself her strokes were frantic, the need to cum overwhelming her, the thought of Maura watching her multiplying the intensity of things by a hundred.

Maura moved quickly as she watched Jane's body begin seizing, giving in to the orgasm that was consuming her.

She dropped to her knees beside the couch just as Jane slipped over the edge leaning into to swallow the scream that was escaping her lips.

The kiss was brief because of Jane's immediate need for air but extremely passionate.

When they pulled apart a small tear escaped the corner of Jane's eye but she was smiling.

"Does this make us quits?"  
Maura gave a small giggle and nodded

"Mmhmmm, yes I think it does".

Sliding up onto the sofa beside her Maura lowered her head to rest it in the space between Jane's neck and shoulder, placing a few small kisses on her neck as she settled into the tender embrace awaiting her. She took Jane's wrist and helped her remove her hand from between her legs, a task that was being made difficult by the fact Maura was now pressed against her. She then helped her do up her fly.

Jane's heart was still racing and Maura was eager to make her hands the cause of it. But she was also tired. It had been a long week and they still had work to do on the Davis case.

"I want you naked" Maura whispered into Jane's ear "but I want it to be special"

Maura felt Jane's hold on her tighten.

"I would have stripped right here right now but you probably would have had to help I'm so tired"

Maura leaned up slightly to into those coffee coloured eyes. She could see peace she hadn't seen in some time reflected back. She could also feel the tension leaving Jane's body as she began to edge once again towards sleep. All of this had taken a toll on her and Maura wanted to make sure that when they were ready to be together properly it would be when they were both ready and able. Willing would not be problem. They were willing right now. But Maura wanted it to be perfect.

In the meantime she leaned in to kiss Jane and whispered quietly "sleep with me here?"  
Jane nodded into the kiss and lay back further on the couch so Maura was comfortable. Maura wrapped the throw from the sofa around them both and whispered sweet nothings into Jane's ear as they fell asleep.

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**A/N 2: So I'm going to give this one last chapter (maybe two depending on how long it takes them to catch the bad guys!) where they actually finally get to go out together properly. Debating a double date with Jessica and Erica – we'll see if they're otherwise engaged first! If not maybe that'll be a good way for Jane to loosen up and relax before taking Maura to bed. I didn't want to do it here because 1. I want to wrap up the case first and 2. It didn't feel right with all the other emotional stuff going on! But it will come in the next and final chapter **** Hope you enjoyed that. Stick around if you can **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N I can't apologise enough for how long this has taken! I've been organising a party for a couple of hundred people so I've chasing my own tail so to speak. I figured I'd finish it on this one and spend that little bit longer writing it (and hence make it a longer chapter!) in case I get caught up in college again! Anyway here we go. Hope you enjoy it **

*****Warning for minor mentions of violence and suicide and some bad language, but that's kind of inevitable!*****

**Chapter 9**

The sun was setting as Jane stood on the back porch drinking a beer. Frankie had long since abandoned the motorcycle he had bought for his undercover gig. Since he couldn't afford storage Maura agreed to let him leave it in the back yard. Jane looked at it and remembered the night Maura and Frankie had been working on it and they'd managed to freak her little brother out with talk about sex. She went to sit astride the bike, her dark jeans clinging to her hips, tight between her legs as she straddled the seat. Her red tank and black leather jacket meant she wouldn't have looked to of place in a biker bar.

Maura walked out onto the porch looking for the curly haired detective. Her breath caught when she found her.

"Wow"

Jane smiled "Like what you see Doctor Isles?"

"Mmhhmm"

Leaning in for a kiss she placed a hand on Jane's taut stomach and then made a moved to climb on the bike behind her. It was slightly more awkward in her case given the restriction of her black and silver form fitting dress. When she managed it she was glad Jane was sitting in front of her because if Angela walked out right now very little of her modesty would have been preserved.

She began to run her hands up and down Jane's stomach. Jane groaned and leaned back against the smaller woman. The heat Maura was causing in her stomach was travelling down to her pelvis and lower. It felt so good.

"We have to go" Maura whispered into her ear.

Jane growled in frustration. A soft kiss to her neck made the thoughts of moving much harder.

"If I drive and don't drink can we forget the cab and stay here for ten more minutes?"

Maura smiled into her neck and gave it another gentle kiss.

"No. The cab is outside. I heard him pull up before I came out here but I just couldn't resist you sitting here. You need a few drinks to relax. It's been a long week and I don't want you tense for what I have in mind later".

Jane shivered.

"Right then you better remove your hands otherwise I'm not going to be able to move"

Maura reluctantly took her hands from Jane's hips where they now rested. She began to climb off the bike but Jane being the taller of the two managed it quicker. She turned and lifted Maura who giggled as Jane swung her around. She kissed her gently as she lowered her to the ground. Searching for her hand she found it and intertwined their finger as they walked towards the gate. Her need to be near to Maura, to touch her had become more pronounced over the last while and Maura was enjoying it greatly. She loved the little public displays of affection that Jane had been showing her. A kiss as they picked up their coffee, holding her hand at lunch, it was all so unlike Jane and it made Maura immensely happy.

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Erica and Jessica were waiting outside the club when they arrived. Greetings were exchanged and kisses were doled out – from Maura. Those kinds of interactions were still a bit much for Jane.

The club they were going to was called Monet's. Maura had done copious amounts of research online. It took her some time and considerable name-dropping to get them on the guest list. It seemed like a bit of a waste of time since the security guard on the door was an ex-cop that knew Jane and Erica. More pleasantries were exchanged and they promised to sneak back out later in Kate's shift to catch up properly.

It turned out to be not such a waste of Maura's time when they got inside however. They were handed VIP passes that allowed them access to an area cordoned off at the back of the club. Leather sofas and armchairs were dotted around glass top tables. Various drapes of varying thickness allowed more privacy depending on where you sat. There was a real classy ambience about the area.

It was a woman only bar that had becomes that way when a new owner, Gabrielle Torres took over. She was the daughter of the Chief of Staff at Beth Israel.

When she heard Maura's name she was quick to put her on the guest list and admonished those who had played coy with the M.E. about getting VIP access. She warned them it was time to get to know the important people in Boston. And the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts was definitely one of those people.

Gabrielle was at the entrance of the VIP area ready to greet her guests when they arrived. Having Googled Maura to know what she looked like she liked what she saw. She moved towards Maura, holding her hand out. A waitress in tight black trousers and a purple shirt followed close behind with a tray containing a bottle of champagne and four glasses.

"Doctor Isles, welcome" Gabrielle said in a syrupy sweet voice. She grasped Maura's hand in a strong confident handshake. She nodded an acknowledgment to Jane, Erica and Jessica. Jane heard Erica mutter "ouch" under her breath and smiled.

Gabrielle was still holding Maura's hand, staring directly into her eyes as the waitress began to hand out the champagne.

"So what brings you to our humble establishment" Gabrielle asked, the word 'humble' said in such a way as to make everyone aware Monet's was no such thing.

Maura in her usual simplistic answer to a simple question replied.

"Your impressive reviews on Lesbian Line".

Gabrielle was expecting to hear about praise from other high power highbrow lesbians so she was rather taken aback by Maura's response. She was more taken aback by Maura's next move. Reaching back she took Jane's hand and pulled her forward.

"This is my girlfriend Detective Jane Rizzoli".

Gabrielle's face fell. Obviously she had expected that Maura would have a lawyer or another doctor on her arm and not some lowly cop. Or even better for her ego, no woman at all so she could have what she'd been fantasising about all week. Nonetheless she tried to cover her initial shock and reached out to shake Jane's hand. She knew when she was beaten. And as she saw Maura look at Jane with a look of pure love in her eyes she knew she was well and truly out of luck.

"Detective, it's very nice to meet you"

Jane nodded. It was juvenile but she just thought to herself 'you reap what you sew'. She heard Erica snigger quietly behind her

Gabrielle swept her arm behind her indicating the VIP area. "It's all yours for the night ladies, we have no other group using it. Have a wonderful night and if you need anything just have one of the staff call me".

She leaned in and kissed Maura on the cheek gaining her a warning look from dark brown eyes. Gabrielle knew better than to do that again as she gave one final smile and walked towards her office.

Entering the VIP area Erica noticed Maura's name printed in gold ink on black paper, inserted into a metal clip holder on the centre table.

She whistled "Wow Rizzoli we need to bring you out more often. Or more specifically we need to bring you out with your other half"

Jane looked at her mocking offence "You mean you'll only go out with me if I bring my girlfriend?"

She turned as she felt Maura snuggle into her and place a gentle kiss on her shoulder. She loved hearing Jane use that word. She liked the idea that she belonged to her, that she was hers. Jane knew the reason for the gentle kiss and turned into Maura, wrapping her arms around her waist and kissing the top of her head. She felt Maura blow warm air on her neck, following it with a gentle kiss.

"Ahem" Erica cleared her throat loudly. "Should we leave?"  
"No, God no" Jane answered almost too quickly for Maura's liking. "What was it you said to me that night in the bar? Don't leave me here with the two of them? Well Maura and Gabrielle out there might just eat me alive".

She gave Erica a threatening stare when she realised her phraseology couldn't have been worse if she tried. Erica just laughed and shook her head gathering a drinks order promising to come back with doubles for everyone.

Jane sat in one armchair and Maura was tempted to sit in her lap. But she didn't want to embarrass Jane in front of Jessica. Plus her dress was slightly too short to attempt it.

"So long week?" Jessica asked, already knowing the answer.

Maura nodded sombrely as Jane let out a sigh.

"Erica told you?"  
"As much as she was allowed yes"  
"That poor kid. Her sister was sure that the fight they'd have over a boy had caused her to commit suicide. Turns out it was the boy in question who killed her"

Maura had gotten a more in depth tox screen back revealing that Sophie had a date rape drug in her system. She was private about other medical conditions and so no one knew she was on medication for epilepsy, which interacted with the other drug causing a massive seizure, which she never came out of.

Mark Ryan had been the one to spike Sophie's drink and found her passed out on his bed when went upstairs looking for her. He thought he was going to get lucky until he realised that Sophie was dead.

Panicking he bundled her into the back of his car and driving half drunk got to Sophie's house and dragged her up the stairs to her room. Rosie had dozed off on the sofa waiting for Sophie to come home and because Mark stole her key she didn't hear them come in. He proceeded to put Sophie on her bed, slit her wrists and leave the razor lying beside her. But the officers that responded were right. There were a few things off. The cuts on Sophie's wrists were the wrong way around to have been self-inflicted. They also couldn't find her key so they couldn't figure out how she'd let herself in. They found it in Mark Ryan's jeans pocket. Ryan had climbed out the window and there was a mark below on the ground where he landed after he ran out of pipe to shimmy down. It didn't make sense for there to be a mark there if someone had been climbing in the window like the initially thought Sophie had rather than out.

Rosie's guilt wasn't assuaged by the findings because she was still convinced she could have done something different. But Jane and Maura had convinced her that she wasn't to blame for what happened. They brought her home and sat with her for a while helping her sort through some things for the funeral. These were the parts of the job people never really saw.

When they went home that evening they collapsed into bed together and just held each other tightly, trying to forget the nightmares their jobs brought to the door every day.

Jessica spoke quietly not wanting to frighten Maura and Jane out of the shell they'd receded into minutes earlier when they stopped talking.

"I'm going to go and retrieve my other half from the bar. She appears to have been entrapped by an overly amorous red head wearing very little"

Maura gave a smile and nod as she reached for Jane's hand.

"It's over. You got him. He's going away for a very long time Jane"

Jane nodded squeezing the hand in hers. "Thanks"

"Any time" Maura leaned over and kissed Jane's cheek.

Just then they saw Erica and Jessica returning from the bar with their drinks. They were debating whether or not the woman at the bar had been flirting with her. Erica insisted it was just an innocent conversation. Jessica wasn't so convinced.

"She was so into you. My God she would have climbed into your pants given half a chance if I hadn't interrupted".

"You know you're the only one who gets in my pants" Erica kissed Jessica, balancing the drinks like a pro who'd carried many rounds for a crowd of cops on numerous occasions.

Jane was slightly embarrassed. Maura and Jane had been going out together roughly the same length as Jessica and Erica but conversations to do with sex were only hinted at. Maura had assured her it was no big deal. And Jane knew that when Maura mentioned earlier about having something planned for her it was probably a cuddle and kiss on the couch with the recording of the Red Sox game from the night before. Jane's nerves were ruling every aspect of this and she had to get over them. Had to do something about them before she ruined the best relationship she'd ever had.

Erica suggested they dance and Jane glared at her while Jessica shook her head vehemently.

"Rooney you know there's one thing I don't do and its dance"

Jessica added "And you may not know me well enough yet honey, but I can assure you I'm with Jane on this one!"

Erica grabbed Maura's hand. "Who said I was asking you to dance Rizzoli. I'd much rather dance with your girlfriend. And as for you" she said, nodding towards Jessica "I'll be back for you"

She gave Jane's knee a nudge with her own as she walked past her and out of the VIP area with Maura tottering along behind in heels Jane's were sure were designed by a man as some kind of torture device.

Jane took a sip of her drink and followed Maura with her eyes smiling as she began to dance with Erica to 'Firework'

"Maura is a sweetheart"

Jane smiled "Yup"

"I don't know you well, but Ric tells me you're not one to fall in love too easy"

"You know I taught her how to extract secrets from perps but I never taught her how to keep them" Jane gave a small laugh as Jessica got slightly flustered.  
"It's okay. She's right, I don't. Maura is different"

"That she is. I don't think I've ever met anyone like her"  
"Me either" Jane acknowledged "She's one of a kind"

Jessica knew love when she saw it. And she was happy for Jane. She saw the flack she got that day in the seminar and thought how hard it must be to be a dominant motivated woman in the BPD, or any police department really. She'd heard some of Erica's story's since and realised what she saw on the training day was only the tip of the iceberg.

Jane was staring wistfully at the dance floor wishing Maura would come back. Jessica read her thoughts as she stood. "Come on. We can't leave two beautiful women out there when they only look like friends dancing and not a couple.

They'll be hit on by anything with a pulse". As she said it the woman from earlier at the bar began to walk towards Erica. Jane had an image of Jessica laying her flat out – she was strong enough as she worked out frequently. She decided she didn't want to have to arrest her friend's girlfriend so it might be best to intervene before it got there.

Walking onto the dance floor the song that had just been on ended and 'Touch My Body' by Mariah Carey began to play. Jane had never heard the song before.

She felt Maura slip her hands around her waist when she reached her and started to sway to the soft intro.

"This is one of my favourite songs to dance to when I've someone to dance with" Maura nuzzled into the tall detective's neck.

She sighed contently as she felt Jane begin to move with her.

"See you can dance" Maura said matter of factly. "Well you can sway"

"Yeah I don't see me winning 'Dancing with the Stars' any time soon". Jane realised she'd just made another cultural reference Maura had no idea about but she let it go because her thoughts were disturbed by Maura moving her hands to her lower back and leaning in to kiss her. Maura was in no hurry to pull away and Jane was enjoying this particular PDA. She was becoming more comfortable with them in general. The fact that Maura wasn't ashamed of it reassured her. It also made her extremely proud to show the world that this gorgeous woman was with her. 'So what is stopping me?' she thought to herself. 'Nothing Jane, nothing is stopping you except you' the little voice in her head told her.

Maura felt a physical shift in Jane as she deepened their kiss and moved her hands to just above her ass, moving their bodies closer together. She also felt a mental shift in her girlfriend, as if some sort of resolve had kicked in. She moaned as she felt Jane grind her pelvis against hers and move one hand down to her ass massaging it gently.

Jane pulled away from the kiss leaving Maura breathless. Her eyes sparkled and she looked deep into Maura's when she managed to open them.

"I need to touch you, turn around" she whispered as she leaned in to the smaller woman's body again.

All Maura managed was another groan.

She turned Maura around and began to sway in time to the music again, feeling Maura press back against her she circled her arms around her waist and kissed her neck.

"I'm going to take you home now"

Another groan.

Jane laughed "Doctor Isles, are you okay?"

"Mmhhmm"

Jane reached for her hand as they made a move towards Erica and Jessica who were dancing provocatively – for the benefit of the jealous looking red head by the edge of the dance floor Jane was guessing. She didn't really care. If someone was going to get arrested she wasn't going to be there to see it.

"Ric, Maura and I are leaving"

Jessica moved from in front of Erica to give her space to speak to Jane, but continued to stare towards the edge of the dance floor.

"No, Jane, come on! We're out for the night"

"You're welcome to stay Ric. You'll have the VIP area all to yourself"

That thought seemed rather appealing to the blonde detective.

"But you're going to miss all the fun!"  
"Why do I get the feeling fun involves body shots and glitter? I'm still having nightmares from your last birthday thanks!"

"Spoil sport"

Jane laughed as she punched Erica on the arm. "Next time"

Maura leaned in give Erica a kiss goodbye as Jane turned to Jessica.  
"She's got nothing on you"

Jessica smiled. "Thanks"

"Besides which she looks a bit like Erica's cousin Heather that I met once. They don't get on". She squeezed Jessica's upper arm reassuringly.

"She's only got eyes for you" Jane said confidently.

"Same goes" Jessica replied.

Maura waved goodbye to Jessica and was halfway to the door before she realised she'd forgotten her coat; so eager was she to get home. Jane headed out to hail a cab. Kate insisted she'd do it as she knew the cab drivers and didn't want Jane getting ripped off.

Walking towards the kerb together Kate asked the question that most people had wanted the answer to for years.

"So when did you figure out you bat for our team"

Jane gave it some thought. "I don't know. I suppose you never know until you meet the right one do you?"

"Aww Jane Rizzoli is going soft" Kate mocked.

"Don't tell anyone, I'll lose my reputation"

"Like you ever had one Rizzoli"

Jane looked at her in mock offence as she managed to hail a cab

"Marcus in Vice is terrified of me"

"Yeah that's cause he's about 12 and you threatened to make his life hell if he didn't sort out a case that interfered with one of yours if I remember rightly. He looked like he was going to wet himself"

Both women laughed and Jane felt a hand join with hers. Maura had retrieved her coat.

Kate opened the door; "Ladies" – she ushered them into the back of the cab.

Closing the door after exchanging details and arranging a date for coffee Jane heard Kate say to the driver "Jamie this is my friend, Detective Rizzoli and the lady with her is the M.E. for the BPD. Be very nice to them. They look after you after you've died and they're good with faces"

Jamie paled visible and rolled up the window with an obedient "Yes Ma'am" to Kate as she banged on the roof.

As the cab pulled away Maura laid her head on Jane's shoulder and began to hum 'Touch my Body'. It was more of a wish than a song right now.

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Entering Maura's house once again hand in hand Jane pulled her close as she kicked the door closed behind her.

She inhaled smelling jasmine and aloe vera and all those smells that made her tingle when she got a hint of them in the air at work.

She shivered slightly and Maura whispered into her chest "it's okay Jane"

It was meant in a kind of 'we don't have to do anything' manner but Jane's resolve had not faltered since the club.

Maura pulled back slightly and felt Jane's lips on hers instantly. Fingers tangled in hair and a free hand moved over her the side of her breast down her ribs and to her hip moving in to massage her abdomen as Jane began to memorise the curves and plains of her body.

The kiss was never broken as Jane lifted the smaller woman into her arms again, carrying her upstairs.

She put her down at the foot of the bed and moved back slightly to get some air, relaxing as she felt Maura's eyes watch her, just reassuring her that it was okay. She followed it up with words to a similar effect.

"If you want to stop, we can stop Jane"

Jane shook her head "God no. I don't want to stop. I just want you to know that once I start this I'm not going to be held responsible for what I do"

Maura grinned like a Cheshire cat as she took her girlfriends hand

"I'm all yours to do with as you please Detective"

That was an offer Jane couldn't refuse.

Reaching around to Maura's back Jane began to unzip her dress kissing her as she slipped the straps off her shoulders. Moving the kisses down she kissed along the pale neck, which arched against her tongue and lips. Reaching the top of Maura's lace bra with her lips Jane didn't hesitate as she moved one cup to the side capturing a hard pink nipple in her mouth. She felt Maura's fingers hold her head in place as Maura exhaled deeply. Jane had noticed that in all their making out sessions Maura's weak point was her breasts.

Moving to the other breast she reached around to free them from the confines of black lace and satin as she took the other nipple in her mouth. The dress and bra fell to the floor and the chill in the air plus the kisses that had now moved down to her stomach caused a shiver to travel from the top of Maura's head to the tip of her toes. Jane on her knees in front of her circling her tongue around her belly button was the final straw.

"Bed, please Jane bed"

"Two seconds baby, you need to do something first"  
"Jane I'm gonna fall"

"I'll help"

Jane inserted her fingers either side of the elastic at the top of Maura's thong and pulled it down. She helped Maura to step out of it and proceeded to turn her around to sit on the bed.

Maura's reorientation and sense of stability were short lived as she found herself lying down 5 seconds later.

When she finally figured out where she was she was looking up into beautiful brown eyes, curtained in by long dark curls. Jane's soft pink lips were smiling.

"You are so beautiful Maur. I'm sorry I've been so scared"

"You're not the only one sweetheart"

Jane quirked her head to one side tickling Maura's cheek with her hair "What?"

Maura reached up and stroked Jane's cheek.

"I don't want to disappoint you"

"Maura are you crazy? You couldn't ever disappoint me, ever"

Jane leaned down and captured the plump red lips teasing her.

"Detective" Maura murmured into the kiss "you have far to many clothes on"

Jane made to kiss her again but Maura moved her hands down to grab the bottom of Jane's t-shirt. She lifted it up and off Jane's taut body. Reaching up to cup Jane's breasts in her hands Maura noticed that they had a similar weak point.

She smiled as she started to tease Jane's nipples into hard peaks through her red bra.

"Uh, Maur, no, no" Jane's eyes were closed tight

"What?"

Maura pulled back her panic evident.

"Do you want to stop, we can stop"

Jane laughed as she lay her head down onto Maura's shoulder on the bed.

"Maur, I don't ever want to stop. But we're not going to get started if I don't get these jeans off. I'm so wet that it's killing me"

Maura reached down and opened the button and fly on Jane's jeans. In her haste to get access to more of Jane's beautiful body Maura almost head-butted her.

They both began to giggle as Jane sat up and removed the last of her clothes, Maura assisting her to speed things up.

When they were both naked Maura switched positions so she was on top straddling olive coloured thighs.

"You are stunning Jane. My imagination did not do you justice"

Running her hands up and down Jane's sides Maura had an urge to touch and kiss every inch of this woman.

"I imagined your breasts would feel firm, but" Maura cupped both breasts in her hands "your nipples, they are…" Maura didn't complete her sentence preferring to take one of the hardened nipples in her mouth and show her admiration. Jane was pretty sure she was going to come without Maura ever touching her. She'd never been so turned on in her life and squeezing her legs together to try and find friction was useless because she was soaking.

"Maur, baby, please please touch me". Jane was embarrassed by how wet she was.

Maura lifted her head shocked by the pleading in Jane's voice. She was on the verge of tears. Moving up so that she was face to face with the shivering woman again. She kissed her and without hesitation slipped her hand down between them and pressed her index finger to Jane's clit. The scream it elicited shocked her as Jane turned her head to the side breathing heavily.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck" Jane bit her bottom lip to try and stop from screaming out again. The feeling of Maura's fingers on her, rubbing her so gently, made Jane crazy.

Maura rubbed a few gentle circles around Jane's clit and was amazed when she felt her push against her hand as Jane's body seized in orgasm.

After a moment Maura heard another quiet "Fuck" from the head buried in the pillow.

Using her other hand she lay down on top of the still body below her and turned Jane's face to look at her.

Jane was biting her lip, a tear in her eye.

"Jane, darling, what is it?"

"I just couldn't hold on. I needed it so bad, needed _you_ so bad"  
"Why are you crying?"  
"Because I let you down," Jane said quietly trying to look away. Maura's hand held her head firmly in place but her eyes remained downcast.

"Now who's being crazy?"  
Jane lifted her eyes to look at the beautiful blonde.

"You just paid me the biggest compliment you could. You orgasmed _for me_. You were so turned on _by me_ you gave me everything you had. I love you so much Jane Rizzoli"

Placing soft lips against tear stained ones Maura kissed the tears and the fear and the disappointment away.

"I'm sorry Maur…"

"No more apologies Jane. There is no need for apologies"  
"But…"

"No but's, unless you add another t to the end of it and use that synonym I detest to describe someone's gluteus maximums. And in that case it'll involved me kicking yours for thinking I'd be let down by you giving me such a beautiful gift. I've a lot to teach you clearly. Maura smiled as she leaned in for another kiss.

"Well you could start by teaching me how to hold on" Jane groaned.

"I will gladly help you out with that darling, but I want you to know that watching you cum whether it's after twenty seconds or twenty minutes will always be my Achilles heel. Watching you that night in the sitting room. I wanted to be the one touching you so badly"

Jane had a flashback to the night she watched Maura and groaned "Ditto". She'd waited too long. Now it was time to find out what she'd been missing.

Maura saw the mischievous look in her eyes and took a deep breath. She had a feeling she was going to need the oxygen.

Jane turned them over to their original position so she was on top. Maura was still hyper sensitive after Jane's exploration earlier so she was sure she was going to last about as long as Jane did before cuming.

This time Jane moved quicker, getting further down the beautiful body below her than before. When she finally placed a gentle kiss on each of Maura's thighs she rested her head for a moment feeling the Doctor's sporadic breathing.

"Jane?" Maura was concerned her lover had passed out

"I'm here, I just…"

Maura knew what was wrong but she also knew the solution was easy. Sitting up so that Jane's head moved from her thigh she looked into worried brown eyes.

"Nothing you do can be wrong. Everything will feel good"

Jane gave a shy smiled. "I should have known you'd know what I was thinking"

Maura took Jane's hand and placed it on her core shivering as Jane's fingers moved instinctively.

"See?" Maura said through gritted teeth.

As she lay back down Maura felt long fingers take the copious wetness and spread it over her folds and onto her clit. A moment later she felt two fingers part her folds and Jane's lips gave the soft skin at her opening a gentle kiss. As Jane's tongue slid inside her Maura's hips began to move of their own free will. She was so close that she felt warning Jane was only fair given she was going to cum in her mouth.

"Ja…" Her voice failed her as a thumb flicked her clit and then began short fast circles while Jane's tongue remained inside her working in rhythm with the two fingers now scissoring her clit, squeezing and rubbing on alternate strokes.

"Uh, Jaaannnee, I… fuck…" Maura felt her release take over as her legs and abdomen tensed up. Jane's tongue was still in place, barley. But her fingers continued, stroking slower now, but still coaxing every last shiver from the doctor.

Because Jane licked every last drop of cum from her, in turn making her cum again, it took a few minutes for Maura to regain her senses. When she did she realised Jane had moved, and was lying at her side.

Maura smiled as she reached out to take Jane's face in her hands.

"I… love… you…" she managed one word between four kissed"

"I love you too" Jane let out a long breath as she wrapped her arms around Maura. The tension, fear, longing; everything escaped in that breath.

"That was a long sigh detective"

"I just realised something"

"What?"  
"Everything I ever need is here in my arms" She placed a kiss on top of honey blonde waves"

"Ditto"

Maura burrowed as close as she could into Jane, fitting herself against soft curves and placing a small kiss on the top of her chest.

"Promise me this is forever Maur?"  
"It's forever baby. It's you and me forever."

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**A/N 2: Ok I apologise again so much for how long that took to finish! I hope it was worth it. I know kickass Jane didn't really make a reappearance but I think the nerves are something that always get Jane in situations like this. Loving Maura would be, I think for Jane, the scariest thing ever! I don't think she could just take to it without some nerves! Anyway as always let me know what worked, what didn't, what you'd change, if you would like me to try anything else? I'm working on a Rolivia one at the moment but it might be a while getting done! Or it might be tomorrow if I can't sleep! **


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